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2007-10-31 20:09:23 by Latecks
Updated

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EDIT: Also, how the fuck am I in the monthly voting? I haven't deposited in forever.

EDIT EDIT: Also, 7 day ban for bumping a shitload of Squidly topics and calling him "squidniger". Lmao, only 7 days. Pathetic.

EDIT EDIT EDIT, FUCK: Also:
Kevin says:
Guess what I did today.
sm0r says:
wut
Kevin says:
I...
Kevin says:
I....
Kevin says:
I..................
sm0r says:
get on with it
sm0r says:
:3
Kevin says:
*takesdeepbreathtoprepareforlongspeech *
Kevin says:
*opensmouth*
Kevin says:
*speaks*
sm0r says:
you stalled?
Kevin says:
I bumped about twenty Squidly topics on the fagg0 BBS saying "Shut the fuck up, squidniger. Nobody likes you."
sm0r says:
AHAHAHAHA

HOPEFULLY FINAL EDIT: Don't count on me being able to use MSN or AIM for a while because Cuntalier is being gay. Hopefully those fags in charge will get this shit straightened out, because it's pissing me off.

GUESS THAT WASN'T THE FINAL EDIT EDIT: My story got into the Kristen Archives.

FUCK YES.
RELATED EDIT:
This story was written as an adult fantasy. The author
does not condone the described behavior in real life.

Wanna bet?

MORE EDIT: Thanks to ChaiLatte, my writer's block is broken, and I'm working on a new story. Expect it in a few weeks.


The Dildo of Glass.

2007-10-09 20:40:37 by Latecks
Updated

She sat on her bed, feeling depressed. Today, it was exactly a month after that horrible day. Five months, two weeks, and three days after it had all started. She could still remember the events of that first day, and the terrible times that followed.

She reached under the bed and took out a small wooden box with a clasp on it. Looking at it, brushing the dust from the top, she was seized by a fit of weeping that soon past. Drying her eyes, she opened the box to reveal one of her most prized possessions: a large rubber dildo.

She'd had it for years, originally receiving it on her eighteenth birthday as a joke gift from her mother. She still remembered the embarassment she had felt when she ripped the paper off in front of all her friends, until she realized they were secretly jealous. Many years after her mother had died, she still treasured the large dildo, and it had brought her to millions of wonderful orgasms.

However, it was also a problem with her husband. He had always wondered why she treasured the dildo such, and over the course of a few years, his curiosity turned to jealousy. But his heart attack had been the true catalyst for the clash of wills to begin.

She had been in her room, playing with her beloved dildo, when he staggered in, clutching his chest and gasping for breath. She immediately reached for the phone on the other side of the bed and called an ambulance. However, what set him off was when after she called for the ambulance, she placed the dildo back in its case before attending to him.

Afterwards, he was in the hospital recuperating, and he asked her why she had taken the time to put the dildo back into its case. She revealed her true feelings about it, and the real struggle began.

He became convinced that she loved her dildo more than she loved him. He began watching her, and never letting her go to the bedroom alone. He would drop whatever he was doing and follow her to the bedroom, meanwhile asking if she felt horny and telling her he was in the mood too. Whenever he saw her going to the bathroom, he would stop her and kiss her, meanwhile groping her body, looking for a hidden bulge anywhere that might conceal the massive rubber pleasure bringer.

He began becoming convinced that she was cheating on him with the dildo. He started calling home from work, and asking why it took her so long to get to the phone, even if she had picked up on the first ring. He called her as many as twenty times a day, and the rising phone bills only added more tension to their relationship. When she complained about the bills, he began dropping by on his break times, claiming that he just wanted to see her.

Then, one day, he came home unexpectedly and found her fucking herself with the dildo, and moaning loudly in ecstasy. He flew into a rage, calling her an ungrateful slut, and saying he would kill her. He went to the kitchen and returned with a huge carving knife.

As he fell upon her, she rolled off the bed, and the knife sliced a hole in the sheets, tearing through the fabric and almost through the mattress. He pulled the knife out, but when he stood up, she threw her dildo at him, striking him in the stomach. He doubled over, and the point of the knife found a soft spot between his ribs and entered, slicing into his lung. He died before the paramedics could arrive.

A jury cleared her of all charges, saying she had acted entirely in self-defense, and had not intended to kill her husband. However, they still could not fix the horrible feeling she had inside.

She reminisced upon the events of the past few months, looking into the box that held the object that was once her greatest treasure, and now seemed like a curse. Reaching in, stroking it, feeling the rubbery surface, she remembered how good it felt deep inside her, and her pussy began to dampen. She reached down and began rubbing the organ, through her clothes, thinking how long it had been since she last had an orgasm. She hadn't used the dildo since that fateful day, and hadn't been able to find a date, not that she really was ready to truly say goodbye to her husband by reentering the dating world.

She was originally just going to finger herself, but the burning fire inside her stomach demanded more. Standing up to strip off her clothes, she found herself staring at a picture of her and her husband, taken a few years ago, when they were newlyweds. Suddenly, a tidal wave of remorse hit her. Here she was, about to start fucking the reason her husband was dead, allowing it to enter her and replace him, as perhaps it had always planned to. She wept, and lashed out with her hands, breaking the glass in the frame and cutting her knuckles. She put them to her mouth and began to suck on them, then realized how odd it had felt. There had been the usual sting of pain, but it had felt so strangely satisfying. She began to wonder if perhaps she was horny for pain as well. Looking at the broken glass, she got an idea.

Ripping off the rest of her clothes, she picked up her prized dildo and the frame with the broken glass. She took the back off the frame, took out the picture, set it aside, and removed the glass. Taking the pieces of glass, she began poking them through the translucent rubber of the dildo, one at a time, until it bristled with spiky glass protrusions.

By that time, she was dripping wet, hearing the plit, plit, plit of her juices on the bedroom floor. Placing the now spiky dildo to her mouth, she licked up and down the shaft, feeling the glass cut and tear her tongue. Her blood dripped down her body until it mixed with the juices of her cunt and fell to the floor. She placed the dildo in her mouth and began sucking on it, first lightly, then deepthroating it, all the while feeling the sharp edges cut and tear her mouth. She was regularly swallowing large mouthfuls of blood, and was becoming so aroused it felt like her clit was afire.

She took the dildo out of her mouth and looked at it, the spiny protrusions now covered with a layer of her blood and spit, which dripped onto the floor, mixing with the puddle already there. She was ready to put it in her pussy, but something was missing. Almost unintentionally, she looked over at the frame. There, still in its mounting, was a long, thin shard of glass, somehow missed by her hands. She plucked it out of its resting place and slid it into the dildo below the head, watching as it resurfaced from the tip like some long-lost chunk of ice in a bloody sea.

She positioned the dildo pointing at her pussy, with the sharp end of the long shard just barely parting her lips. She rubbed the shard against her clit, feeling it tear the sensitive flesh. Then, she shoved it into her dripping cunt.

As it entered, her muscles spasmed, and there was a moment when she felt that she could feel every detail of the intrusion. She thought that she would be able to count the number of shards stuck into the dildo. She felt nothing, then the first sensation came. Excruciating pain washed over her, and her muscles closed tight upon the spined intruder. She howled in agony, then suddenly intense pleasure seemed to bubble up from her wounds. Moaning in ecstasy, she began working the spiked tool in and out of her bleeding cunt, feeling the sharp spines rake her insides and tear her tender flesh. The spike on the end worked itself deeper and deeper, and she felt it poke through the end of her vagina and enter her womb.

Tears of pain and pleasure mixed welled from her eyes and ran down her cheeks, mixing with the blood still oozing from the wounds in her mouth and running down her body in pinkish rivulets. As the pain continued, she rotated the dildo slightly, feeling the shards tear into new pieces of her mauled pussy. With her free hand, she reached down and began rubbing and squeezing her mangled clit, feeling the blood mixed with her juices. She continued to pump the bloody dildo even deeper, feeling the fires of a huge orgasm building within her clit. The warm feeling of an impending climax grew, until her entire pussy was burning with desire for release. She was on the edge, and it would only take a small change to push her over.

As she looked down at her bleeding pussy, she felt a new spot of pain. Suddenly, the spike of glass on the end poked through her skin just below her navel, like some kind of hideous piercing. At that sudden shock of new pain, the fires of her orgasm were released.

Wailing in ecstasy, she slammed her eyes shut as brilliant lights danced upon her eyelids. A feeling like thousands of tiny bolts of fire shot through her body, racing under her skin. The fire rushed though every part of her body, from her head all the way down to her toes. Beneath her eyelids, the dancing lights changed to a forest of lighning, burning in a bright fire of pure pleasure.

As she orgasmed, her pulse increased, resulting in a torrential outflow of blood from her mangled pussy. The deluge of blood carried with it hundreds of tiny bits of pinkish flesh, torn from her pussy by her powerful thrusts. Her mouth bled also, although not as much as her mauled cunt did. The twin streams poured massive amounts of her blood from her body, draining her life away.

As the most intense orgasm of her life faded away, she became aware of a great sleepiness. She brought the dildo up to her face, looking at its bloodied spikes, and kissed it one final time. Feeling the soft black mists of death closing in upon her, she closed her eyes and slept, to never wake again.

EDIT: ADDED PARAGRAPHS AND FIXED SOME TYPOS AND TECHNICAL DICKSHIT THAT WAS BOTHERING ME


No more Socom Squad.

2007-10-06 15:55:36 by Latecks

I quit. Raspberry left, Piney turned into a fucking dictator and banned Grapefruit for absolutely no reason, all Paddy ever did anymore was suck up to Piney and ask him to ban people, we never let anyone new in, Kazakh, Splatter, SeveredThumb, Carrot, and AngrehFaic never came on anymore, and it was mostly just the same old shit repeated over and over. If you were thinking about joining, don't even bother.

Yours, the artist formerly known as TurnipSocom.


Pink Newgrounds...

2007-10-04 15:38:15 by Latecks
Updated

This is fucking retarded.

Well, not so much retarded as everyone who's making a big deal about it.

Fabbot was the stupidest fucking fad ever, and now that the whole of n0grunz is turning pink, it's getting even more gay.

"OMG WE R DUH FABBOTS N WE R TAKIN OVER!!!!11"
"OH SHIT QUICK RUN HIDE"
"I'M GOING FAB!"
"ITS UH WARR BETWEEN DA FABS ND DA EVULLZ!!"

And then they wonder "y r al the funy pplz leeving?"


The Bus Ride.

2007-10-03 16:42:55 by Latecks

I sat on the bus at the end of the day, feeling tired and irritable. The bus was hot and stuffy, and a vile stench hung in the air, a combination of fat kid sweat, diesel exhaust, lousy hygeine, and too much Axe that made taking each breath barely worthwhile. The windows were all closed, and if one was opened, the person who opened it was immediately beset with complaints. The air conditioner failed miserably to help dissipate the vile odor, only serving to waft the foul soup of the air around and mix it even more.
Next to me sat a fat kid, smelling like a pair of old gym socks. His hair, long and red, looked so much like a girl's hair that I had mistaken him for a girl on the first day. However, upon seeing his face, I had immediately realized my mistake, as he would have made a hideous girl.
I was at the window seat, and although the windows were too smudged and dirty to see anything out of, it was still nicer than the aisle seat, mostly because you could lean on the window. Thinking it might help the foul smell, I reached up to open the window. I barely caught a breath of fresh air before the girl behind me shrieked and said, "Ohmigod, like, close the window! It's like messing up my hair!"
I felt like saying "Fuck you, you spoiled slut, I can't fucking breathe", but instead, I sighed and closed the window. I leaned against it and figured I could doze for a while, cursing the bus driver for not letting me walk home from the first stop. Just as I was beginning to feel myself slip into half-sleep, I suddenly hear some sort of heavy beat. I looked over at the fat kid, and saw that he had his iPod on, blasting shit into his ears.
I leaned over and asked, "Do you have to have that shit so fucking loud?"
No response.
I became annoyed and said, louder this time, "Do you have to have that shit so fucking loud?"
Still nothing.
I could feel my sanity slipping away from me. Summoning the last reserves of my self-control, I shouted at him, "DO YOU HAVE TO PLAY THAT SHIT SO FUCKING LOUD?!!"
He looked at me, then turned away. At that, I felt the last dregs of sanity slipping away. The rage held in check for so long burst forth. He never saw the first punch, but he felt it, a lightning fast smash to the side of his face that crushed his nose, shattered his glasses, and blackened one eye. As he turned to look at me, I punched him in the mouth, and he fell backwards, spitting out broken teeth, blood, and saliva.
I grabbed his earphones and rammed them deeper into his ears, until blood began oozing out. He was moaning in agony, but I was just getting started. I grabbed his iPod and turned the volume up to maximum. He vainly clawed at his ears to remove the earphones, but they were in too far and all he could do was thrash around.
Within a minute, the sound waves vibrated his brain into mush. He eventually stopped struggling and lay there twitching, as I went to sleep.


R.I.P. Luke.

2007-09-29 17:42:07 by Latecks

My cat Luke got killed by a car this morning. R.I.P. Luke.

Not posting on the BBS because I'd get 11,000 faggots saying "lol@ur cat getting hit by a car".

:'(


NOT DEAD

2007-09-24 15:10:21 by Latecks
Updated

Fagalier cut out our internet for a while, and I couldn't get on anything.

Also, since everyone is making news posts about people they hate, I might as well make one too:

squidly - Do you even need to know why I hate this guy?
Andrea364 - 13 years old and already making sexual mistakes. Wow.
hiii111 - Tried to join the Socom Squad as "HiiiSoccom", then cried after we rejected him and tried to start an Anti-Socom Squad. Currently occupied with some "Word Krew" faggot shit.
Monkey-Kong - Only Socom Squad members are going to get this.
Mariobro42 - Giant faggot.
Fr0ks - Pathetic attempt at a troll.
Orange-Jews - See Fr0ks.
homer42 - See Fr0ks.
LegolasFIN - Atomfag with a tiny brain.
alicetheDroog - Unfunny Atomfag.
pHuXxXB0xX - This guy is completely retarded. Can't spell and thinks we all like him.
GOTHCLAWZ - Read what KemCab said about him; he's a total tool.
Latex - Stupid alt.
DarkLotusJuggalo - He used to be BeerSocom, and was pretty cool then, but left us to become a Bombfag.
cookie-monsta1 - This guy is so stupid.
Eltelelel - Mistook the Socom Squad for the Kitty Krew. What the fuck?
Sanity-of-Insanity - What, the NG BBS is your own personal blog? Seriously.

Also awesome list:

AarghCat - Fuck you if you don't like this guy.
SeeInTheDark - Probably the most underrated user here. She's very nice, if you've never met her.
Jake - Just cuz he's Jake.
Ecke - Really makes me laugh a lot.
Paddy - Cool guy. Funny as hell. Even if he is a faggot sometimes.
Paradox - Another guy who's funny as hell.
VespeneGas - He makes me laugh.
PineappleSocom - Makes a great group leader, except for his occasional bout of faggotry.
LollerCupcake - AKA KazakhstanSocom. Another cool leader with the occasional bout of faggotry. Wrote the most awesome parody of the Kazakhstan national anthem.
WilliWowza - Cuz he's himself.
ChaiLatte - Makes fun topics.
TehreTard - One time he asked me how I got to be so funny.
Bus-Driver - Another fun guy.
TwilightFox - A bit overrated, but pretty cool.
Sekhem - Good at what he does.
Yghrulez - Another underrated user. It sucks Piney went into one of his faggotry spells and banned him.
Gendo - Nobody ever leaves Gendo out of an awesome list.
BLUEHIPPO - OOPS, HOW COULD I FORGET HIM? I MEAN, THANK GOD SOMEONE STILL CARES ABOUT MY ACCOUNT! BLUEHIPPO IS THE COOLEST PERSON EVER I THINK YOU GUYS SHOULD MAKE HIM A MOD!!!
-loloops

That's all I can think of for now.

also level 20. woo.


AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2007-09-14 14:51:24 by Latecks

My mom got a Myspace.


I need to make a new post...

2007-09-09 22:37:18 by Latecks

But I don't have anything to make it about.


School and pimples.

2007-09-03 22:46:06 by Latecks

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT MY PIMPLES BREAK OUT TWO DAYS BEFORE SCHOOL STARTS

Now that I've got that out of my system:

School starts tomorrow, and I'm supposed to be asleep right now. I'm worrying over the pimples on my face right now.

I even got a fucking pimple inside my nose, right on the inner rim of the nostril. It's mostly gone now because I've been picking incessantly at it for the past few days. God, I wonder what the girls at school would think if they saw this. Not like they ever go to any other sites other than Myspace, so I guess I'm safe.

I'm going to bed now.

Also, no, I am not dead. Stop flooding my inbox asking "OMG R U DED???//11" when I take a few days away from the internet.