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Latecks's News

Genitalia.

2007-08-25 23:27:06 by Latecks

So I caught all three legendary bird Pokemon on Fire Red in less than an hour, with no cheats or anything. Woo.


So I got an emulator for Pokemon Sapphire...

2007-08-21 11:22:55 by Latecks
Updated

And I know I'm behind the times, but I couldn't find one for Diamond/Pearl, and I can't afford a DS, so the Sapphire was the best I could do.

I have to admit, I did like it. Particularly the fact that I could finally find out what a Mudkip was like. But some of this new shit is frustrating, so I'm going to be bitching about it for the next few minutes.

First of all, all this PokeBlock shit is confusing as hell. It seems like everything is centered around PokeBlocks. "If you want to win a contest, you have to make a lot of PokeBlocks", "You're not raising it right. Give it more PokeBlocks", and all that shit at the Safari Zone, which I'll be mentioning later.

First problem is, I'm on a emulator, so I can't exactly link up with a few chums and make nice smooth PokeBlocks. I'm stuck with dipshit AI that has the reflexes of a stoned 87-year-old geezer, so all my PokeBlocks turn out bad. I don't suppose Nintendo could maybe crank the intelligence up a couple notches?

Also, the Berries. I don't know about you, but I find it immensly frustrating when I can't remember where I planted any Berries, and come back to find my rare one has already dropped all the Berries and is starting over. Could they maybe give me some sort of system to notify me when they're ready to be picked?
EDIT: I finally found out why my Berries aren't working well. I've been using Frame Skip so much that it's seriously fucked up the time calculator.

Finally, the Safari Zone. When I first tried to enter, they said "LOL U DON'T HAEV UH POEKBLOKC CAES U CANT CUM N". So I had to run around and find a fucking PokeBlock case, and then I find out that they've done away with the old system. Back in Red and Blue, we had four options: Throw Ball, use Bait, use Rock, Run Away. Now instead of Bait and Rock, we've got PokeBlock and Get Closer. What the fuck does Get Closer do for you? I'd be too scared to get close to half those Pokemon anyway:

Me: Oh look, a Rhyhorn. Let's get closer.

Rhyhorn: *irritable snort*

Me: Let's just try to get a little bit clo-OH GOD HE'S STOMPING ON MY BRAINS

And the Pokeblock thing: If I'm going to use Pokeblocks, I'm using them on Pokemon I've already caught. I'm not wasting half of them on some dumbass wild Pokemon that could turn and run at any moment.

Also, regarding Team Aqua. I've played all their little escapades, and I only have one thing to say about it:

BRING BACK TEAM ROCKET.

Team Rocket was such a better villain team than Team Aqua. Wanna know why?

Mission:
Team Rocket wanted to make money off Pokemon any way possible, and weren't above killing Pokemon to do it. They did whatever was necessary, and didn't care about any type of Pokemon.

Team Aqua wanted to expand the seas so water Pokemon could have a place to live, because they cared about water Pokemon. They weren't even going to make any direct profit out of it. Altruistic villains. Sad.

Plans:
Team Rocket tried to steal fossils from Mt. Moon, took over a whole fucking city, and created a Game Corner with Pokemon as prizes.

Team Aqua took over a weather institute, fucked with legndary Pokemon (something Team Rocket knew was too dumb to do), fucked up the balance of nature and nearly destroyed the world, and tried to make a volcano dormant, because they cared about water Pokemon, and wanted them to have a place to live.

Leader:
Team Rocket had Giovanni, who not only kicked ass at Pokemon, but also had his own gym in Viridian. Plus he was smart and came up with awesome plans.

Team Aqua had Archie, and when I saw his name, I forgot if I was playing Pokemon or reading a fucking comic book. Archie. Sounds more like a kid than a leader of a so-called "evil" gang. He was easy as hell to beat, anyway. And I bet he was too dumb to get his own gym. After all, he did nearly destroy the world by fucking with the balance of nature.

/rant

EDIT: I just found out how to catch a Feebas. I hate Nintendo now.

6 tiles, IN THAT WHOLE GOD DAMN RIVER.

EDIT EDIT: Never mind, I caught one. Turns out the real hard part is the finding of enough Berries to make the 'Blocks. See the section of my rant about Berries.

EDIT EDIT EDIT: Also, the 22nd of August is not my birthday. Apparently the guy who made the thread was misinformed.


Level 19 is the essence of suck.

2007-08-16 00:13:55 by Latecks
Updated

Seriously, a fucking lug wrench? Talk about sad. Level 18 was so much better. I mean, you could rob a convenience store with level 18. You run into a store with a board with a bunch of nails hammered into it, covered in blood, the cashier does what you want. You run in with a lug wrench, he just laughs at you and makes some wiseass crack about how if you wanted a tire change, you'd be better off going to a garage. Meanwhile, you're standing there with a lug wrench, looking like an ass, and a guy with a bloody board with nails come in and empties the register.

Then a guy with a gun comes in, shoots both of you, and takes the cash.

MORAL: For robbing a convenience store, Gun > Board with nails > Lug wrench < Disembodied Bear Cock

Pic unrelated.

Level 19 is the essence of suck.


R.I.P. Symbiontic

2007-08-14 23:32:54 by Latecks
Updated

"I'd be really sad if anything ever happened to Symbiontic"
"I think I'd rather give up Ionical that give up Symbiontic"

Both quotes, made recently, showed my affection for my alt account Symbiontic. I had not imagined anything ever happening to it, but now, I am faced with the reality that I have locked myself out of my alt.

A couple of weeks ago, I changed the email address for Symbiontic to a different address, so I could stop using my parent's email address for him. I was also forced to change the password, due to new NG security requirements. The new requirements actually do work quite well. In fact, they succeded in preventing even me, the account creator, from accessing the account.

I originally signed Symbiontic up on January 11th as OMGISUXATTEHINTRANET, an alt intended solely for PM spamming people, asking "I heard you're ghey. Are you?". While it annoyed many people, and gave me many laughs, OMGISUX was not what I was looking for in an alt. On January 23, I changed the name to zezima2, and began posting on the BBS, claiming to be Zezima. I also changed the PM spamming technique to asking "do u lik runescape" and spammed people for months. I eventually racked up almost 800 PMs from various people.

After having conversations with some people, I realized that I didn't know anything about Zezima's fighting/playing style, and decided I wasn't qualified to impersonate him/her. I eventually changed the name to Symbiontic, and began posting under the disguse of a Runescape addict so suckered into the game that he thinks that Runescape has been around forever. This blindness to reality was revealed in a PM exchange I had with a user, whose alias will not be given out of respect for his anonymity, in which Symbiontic claimed that "al th smrt ppl ply runescape". When that conclusion was challenged by the user, saying the ancient Greeks were smart and never played Runescape, Symbiontic said that they had to have played because the stuff they built looked like some of the stuff in Runescape.

Needless to say, the user came to the conclusion that Symbiontic was a retard and blocked him.

Eventually, I decided to try to join the Socom Squad with my alt, and created a three-page long topic that was regarded as hilarious and placed in our archive for fun topics, and was later lost when we moved forums. That led to the creation of Symbiontic's final topic, th socom squad is meen.

And today, I attemped to log in to check how much longer it was until the ban was up, only to discover that I had forgotten the password and email.

Several people knew that I was behind Symbiontic, however, out of respect for their anonymity, I will not post them here.

R.I.P. Symbiontic.

1/11/07 - 8/14/07

For all you TL;DRers, I was behind Symbiontic, and locked myself out of the account.

Also, if you suspected it was me, your local police department needs detectives.

Symbiontic's self-written funeral speech:

im ded bcus l8eks was iresponsbl nd 4got my pw nd my emal nd thn he cudnt get n2 my acc nd i dyd nd its al his falt srsly hes dum nd now im n alt hevn nd i met al these dum alts lik suprnob nd bgbluwale nd nun of thm lik runescape nd im jst plyn it alon up her u shud not b nic 2 l8eks bcus im mad @ him nd im gona kil him n th wldy nxt tim i c him bcus its his falt im ded nd hes rly dum


MSN

2007-08-10 21:15:48 by Latecks
Updated

I got MSN and am having a ton of trouble figuring out how the damn thing works. I'm so used to AIM's simplicity, it makes MSN seem bafflingly complex. :\

I'll post my email here when I've worked it out.

Also, if you saw #7 and are looking here for more incest: I'm not going to post it regularly. Only if I find something exceptionally funny. And then I'm more likely to put it in my banner rather than post it here.

Also, I know I haven't been active on the BBS lately, and probably none of you have missed me. I've just been getting a little bored of the BBS, plus I've been trying to slacken off on my internet usage because school's coming up and I can't afford to stay on eight hours a day. I've been more active on the Socom Squad, mostly because THEY APPRECIATE ME FOR WHO I AM, YOU FUCKERS. YOU NEVER LIKED ME ANYWAY. I HATE YOU ALL. I HATE YOU ALL. I HOPE YOU DIE IN A FIRE. FUCK YOU FOR BEING BORN. YOU ALL SHOULD HAVE BEEN DROWNED AT BIRTH. YOUR MOTHERS WERE ALL WHORES WHO WOULD FUCK ANYTHING THAT HAD A COCK. FUCK YOU ALL I HATE YOU. YOU SHOULD ALL DIE OF CANCER AND AIDS. YOU NEED TO KILL YOURSELVES NOW. FUCK YOU ALL. I HOPE YOU DIE A HORRIBLE BLOODY DEATH INVOLVING MULTIPLE BODILY ORFICES, KILLER BEES, AND A DRUM OF LYE. I HOPE ALL YOUR EYES ROT OUT OF THEIR SOCKETS AND YOUR BRAINS FILL WITH MAGGOTS AND DECAY AND ROT AND PUTREFY AND CORRUPT AND THEN THE DECAYING ROTTING PUTRID CORRUPTED SLIME DRIPS OUT OF YOUR ROTTED, DECAYING, PUS-OOZING EYE SOCKETS. YOU SHOULD ALL GO EAT RAZOR BLADES UNTIL THEY SHRED YOUR INTESTINES AND YOU SHIT BLOOD AND BITS OF BODILY TISSUE AND DIE A SLOW, HORRIBLE PAINFUL DEATH. YOU SHOULD ALL SUCK AND DIE. I HOPE YOU DIE A HORRIBLE BLOODY DEATH WHEN A RABID HOBO BITES OFF YOUR 2-INCH-COCK AND YOU BLEED SLOWLY AND MANAGE TO SAVE YOURSELF BUT DIE WHEN YOUR COCK GETS INFECTED AND YOU CAN'T BRING YOURSELF TO CUT IT OFF BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO DIE A VIRGIN BUT THERE'S NOTHING YOU COULD DO TO LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY BECAUSE YOU ALL ARE SO FUCKING UGLY NOT EVEN A TEN-CENT WHORE WOULD FUCK YOU SO YOU DON'T CUT IT OFF AND YOU DIE WITH MAGGOT-INFESTED PUS OOZING FROM YOUR ANUS AND ARE EATEN BY RATS AND HOBOS IN THE NEW YORK CITY SEWERS. KILL YOURSELVES. KILL YOURSELVES NOW. I BET YOU'RE ALL SO FAT YOU CAN'T SEE YOUR OWN DICKS WITH THREE MIRRORS. I FUCKING HATE YOU ALL. STOP BREATHING MY AIR, YOU FAGGOTS. I HOPE YOU ALL GET SENT TO PRISON AND PUT IN A CELL WITH MICHAEL JACKSON. YOU SHOULD GET CAPTURED BY A MOB OF GAY BLACK MEN WHO TAKE PENIS ENLARGMENT PILLS AND RAPED AND RAPED AND RAPED AND RAPED AND RAPED AND RAPED AND RAPED UNTIL YOU SHIT BLOODY BLACK COCKS OUT YOUR ANUS AND THEN THEY RECAPTURE YOU AND YOU GET RAPED AND RAPED AND RAPED AND RAPED AND RAPED AND RAPED AND RAPED AND RAPED AND RAPED AND RAPED AND RAPED AND RAPED AND RAPED UNTIL ONE DAY YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND REALIZE YOU COULD ALMOST PASS AS THE GOATSE MAN EXCEPT HE'S GOT A BIGGER COCK THAN YOU AND HE'S NOT SO FAT AND UGLY THAT HIS OWN MOTHER HUNG HERSELF WHEN SHE SAW YOUR FACE. YOU'RE THAT FAT AND UGLY.


Here's some valuable advice for all of you:

2007-08-07 23:32:26 by Latecks
Updated

REVISED: Never buy cheap wireless headphones.


GENERIC NEWS UPDATE

2007-07-28 10:24:54 by Latecks
Updated

I NEED TO GET MSN.

READ THIS INTELLIGENT ESSAY WRITTEN BY A GREAT MAN.

JOIN THE SOCOM SQUAD.

BLEH.


I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT

2007-07-18 11:44:40 by Latecks

I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT
SHORT AND STOUT
HERE IS MY HANDLE
HERE IS MY SPOUT
WHEN I GET ALL STEAMED UP
HEAR ME SHOUT!
TIP ME OVER
AND POUR ME OUT

That song is stuck in my head. I can't stop singing it.


Make a news post, eh?

2007-07-17 17:20:51 by Latecks

I'll news post you.